My dear son was invited to his first official sleep over this Saturday. Official meaning not at his cousin's house, but someone from school. I asked him if he was going to be O.k. if I wasn't there and he said "yes", I told him that he could call if he wanted to come home and he gleefully cheered "I'm going to sleep on the couch!" - (glad they worked all that out in school today). Nothing, no timid little boy here clinging to his Mom - when did this happen? This is the boy who was too shy to even talk to the librarian without cowering behind my legs.I told my dear friend of too many years about the sleep over and she even said "Isn't that a bit young?" I truly second guessed my ability to parent when this was coming from a woman who admittedly likes children in small doses and preferably quiet. Hmmmmm
So, I asked my Husband as he was drifting off to sleep last night.... "Is he too young, what is with the obsession with sleep overs at this age?" He said something interesting for a man who wakes up before the crack of dawn every day and this was now almost 11 on a Thursday - "Kids don't have the freedom like we did when we were little." I think he fell asleep then, but that made me start to think. He's right, I am on top of the kids every moment of the day, paranoid about anything: choking, falls, kidnappers, rabid animals, whatever! I remember as a kid probably around little guy's age rowing around in my inflatable canoe in this gigantic puddle... I was not in my fenced in yard, my Mom was not there and I was invincible....
Do we wrap our kids in bubble wrap too much??? Do we live in too much fear of everything? Is this day and age sculpting our kids to be paranoid, non-adventurous adults?
3 comments:
Of course we do! I know that I am the biggest offender of "over protection" of my children but I don't care. Sometimes I lay up thinking to myself, "Am I holding them back? Are they going to be ready for society in 18 years?" At the end of it all I guess if I'm going to err I'd rather my kids say, "Dad, how come we never got to Johnny's house?" than "Dad, I wish you would have made me stay home so I didn't get sexually assaulted." I know this is worse case, but they're only your kids once. Things are different today. I don't know if there is more people doing harm or if we are just hearing about it more. We ran all over as kids, playing in the woods, going over to neighbors house's, but it's just different now. The innocence is gone :(
I totally agree, I think it was happening then, but we were less connected twitter, cnn.com, Fox news, etc. It can all just make you insane at the end of the day!
Kristyn, this has touched a nerve with me! I never let the kids stay over anywhere unless I knew the parents, especially at Garrett's age. Although I never told them not to talk to strangers, I made it my responsibility to keep them safe so I would more than likely say no than yes. Even now, if they ask and I don't know who the parents are, I say no. And they are teenagers! However, now Mara will stay at the farm all day, by herself, around big dangerous animals. We go on weekend trips and bring the kids' friends. It's never easy, but slowly we learn to let go. I was where you are six years ago. Keep them close and don't feel guilty. They will get totally independent all by themselves and before you know it!
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