UPDATE: THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. Seriously, you think the cat pried the back door open with his paw? And to those of you who believed me, read the first paragraph again!
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On this
first day of April, I regret to inform our reading audience that our beloved friend, Bruce the Cat is no longer with us.
Some time during the night, I believe he was able to force open the back door with his little paw and wander off.
I knew there was something wrong this morning when he didn't greet me like he normally does, by meowing and trying to convince me to feed him. Concerned about his absence, I found the open door, stepped outside, and called his name. Instead, I heard the sudden, rapid beating of goat hooves. I followed the sound into the dark, and there, by the light of the moon, discovered Bruce's collar lying in a circle of goat prints.
Yes, gentle reader, I believe Bruce was eaten by the neighbor's goats.
The hardest part, of course, will be breaking the news to my children, and teaching them that sometimes, God makes goats eat kitties.
Bruce T. Cat, RIP.